12 tips on talking to your children about racism

This blog has been written in collaboration with Reema Malhotra, Director of Strategy & Chief of Staff, Save the Children UK.

Every child has the right to grow up healthy, educated and safe – regardless of race, religion gender, sexual orientation or socioeconomic status. An end to racism is essential to achieving this vision.

Save the Children was founded over 100 years ago to fight for universal values and children’s rights. Yet racism in the UK exists and the recent racist riots targeting Muslim communities, refugee communities, people of colour and ethnic minority communities led by the far-right have no place in society. We oppose these riots in the strongest possible terms as they run counter to our values of diversity, equity, inclusion and compassion.

As you seek ways to navigate conversations with children in your life about recent events, including violence, we are here for you. We know that these are not easy conversations to have. No-one has the answers to every question that may arise, but we encourage you to use the following tips to start a conversation or as a continuation, aimed at helping children to better understand what is happening around them.

“It has been horrible to see the riots on British streets. We are a multi-cultural country where everyone brings something special. Different cultures have unique traditions, foods and ideas that make the country rich and exciting. And when people from different heritages work together, they can learn from each other and solve problems in different ways. This teamwork helps everyone feel valued and respected. By remembering that there is more that unites us than divides us, we can create a kind, peaceful and friendly country where everyone can thrive.” – Nicky Cox MBE’s comment as First News’ editor-in-chief.

Reflect on what you know.

Start with an acknowledgement that your own beliefs, biases and understandings of race, inequalities, class and identity are important. Your lived experiences, your level of privilege and how you interpret the current events may influence how you talk to your children about such topics. Take the time to educate yourself and reflect.

Do your research.

You’re not expected to be an expert but take it upon yourself to get informed. These are topics that are difficult for a variety of reasons – understand this is a learning process, and we all have something to learn. Try to diversify your sources of information to avoid biases, and make sure you fact check any information you read or share.

For additional insights on addressing specific issues like Islamophobia, you can read our article on Tackling Islamophobia with education, understanding and compassion.

Acknowledge what you don’t know.

If you don’t know how to answer a question your child poses, that’s okay. Reassure your child that you’ll look into it and see if you can learn together with your child. Encourage your child to continue to ask questions.

Limit exposure to media and social media.

Violent, racist and anti-Muslim riots took place across the UK and there are pictures and reports online. It would be almost impossible to go on social media currently and not see footage in the news which may cause anxiety and fear in both children and adults. It is encouraged to limit exposure based on what you feel is right for you and your family. Also consider speaking to children about what is potentially being shared between friendship groups online so you can understand what they are viewing.

Listen and encourage your child.

What are the questions your child is asking? What do they already know, and what are they concerned or worried about? Share age-appropriate and diverse books, stories and films about different societies, cultures and ideas with your child and allow and encourage them to speak freely about social justice, injustice and other issues.

Monitor your child’s emotions.

Understand when your child may become overwhelmed and adjust as needed. Let them know that you’re going to keep talking about these issues and they should, too.

Correct misinformation.

Correct misperceptions and misinformation the world has about people who are of a different race. Help your child better understand that no one is less human than another, and we should treat everyone fairly, with respect and kindness.

Talk about race in age-appropriate ways.

For early years age children: At this age, your child may begin to notice and point out differences in the people around you, like when you’re at the park. If your child asks about someone’s skin tone, you might say, “Isn’t it wonderful that we are all so different! This is what makes us all so special.”

For primary school children: This is the age that is important to have open talks with your child about race, diversity and racism. Discussing these topics will help your child see you as a trusted source of information on the topic, and they can come to you with any questions. Point out stereotypes and racial bias in media and books such as villains or “bad guys” in films.

If your child makes comments or asks you questions about race based on what they have overheard or something they read or watched: Further the discussion with questions such as, “How do you feel about that?” and “Why do you think that?” This is also helpful if your child heard something insensitive or if your child experienced racial bias themselves. Before responding to his or her statement or question, figure out where it came from and what it means from their perspective.

Acknowledge what your child is feeling. It’s okay to have a lot of different feelings about what is going on in the world. Your child may feel scared, shocked, angry, sad and confused. Encourage them to talk about these feelings with someone they trust, or use art or movement to help them express how they feel.

Be patient. If your child isn’t able to express how they feel or things don’t make sense, that’s okay, too – it can take time to process what is going on.

Be a good role model. As children grow beyond their early years, they begin to more consistently reflect the views and behaviors of the people who mean the most to them. They typically look to family members, but also learn from teachers, coaches, and the views – explicit and implicit – that they are exposed to in the media. Stereotyping, jokes at the expense of others, subtle and not so subtle remarks of displeasure or disdain can shape children’s views. The absence of positive expression or images matter as well, so model thoughtful, inclusive behaviour.

Recognise what’s in your power. Think about what you can personally do to take action and stand up for what is right.

To read more helpful articles like this visit the Talking Points section of our website or sign up for First News at home and at school!